kiwi
Apprentice
Probably drawing!
Posts: 60
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Post by kiwi on Feb 10, 2020 9:55:42 GMT
It had been only a few days after Crowfall's new deputyship, a duty he was taking as seriously as possible. He hadn't slept much these past few days, far too worried about putting a paw out of place or doing bad in a position he hardly considered himself being worthy of. He had hardly interacted with Ashstar personally, so he didn't know how to interact with or interpret him at all. Ashstar spoke very little, and what he did almost always left Crowfall's pelt feeling prickly and embarrassed. Anxiety often bubbled up in Crowfall's chest, but he was more than happy to follow any command to the letter. While he could perform most tasks to a T, he couldn't exactly follow commands he didn't know.
The TreeClan code of conduct for Deputies was quite clear. He was to ask Ashstar's permission for, quite literally, everything. Save for the most basic of duties. Which, in Crowfall's mind, was too vague for him. It left far too much room in his mind to debate on what was, exactly, basic, and what needed Ashstar's approval. It was Crowfall's duty to make sure Ashstar was tended to, to make sure his den was clean and to make sure that his will was carried out. Crowfall's steps on the branches of the leader's den were light, and quick, and he often counted how many he touched and leapt far to minimize how many he stepped on out of fear of punishment for touching too many.
For now, he was stepping close to the leader's den to ask a question; perhaps trivial to some, but for him it was quite literally a matter of life and death. He wanted to finally have something to eat and share his lunch with his sister. This was now the third time he'd come to Ashstar this day alone to ask something. Earlier he had asked permission to send an injured cat to the medicine den. Even earlier was permission to organize a patrol with Boars, and a hunting patrol with Birds. His pawsteps were light as he stood right outside his leader's den, holding his breath for a moment before finding courage to call out to his leader once more.
"E-excuse me...Ashstar? Do you have a moment for an inquiry?" He sincerely hoped that his inquiry wasn't disrespectful. He immediately started running through the words in his head, trying to find any better ways he could have replaced it. His tailtip twitched nervously.
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Post by Greymuzzles on Feb 11, 2020 21:01:16 GMT
Ashstar enjoyed the sun and the open air, as any cat did, and he was prepared to fight for his right to watch the clan or patrol as he willed, but he had to admit that there were times when the quiet gloom of his den was a far better place to be. In there he could rest unguarded, letting his mind wander where it would, and in there, too, it was often easier to gather his thoughts. He was no slow-witted cat—he could think as the rabbit ran and the squirrel jumped, when he needed, and do so without betraying his mind, at that—but the space to think unwatched made it so much easier to make those very leaps. The space to think unwatched allowed him to delve into the deepest parts of himself: to follow his thoughts without fear of revealing what he didn’t yet want others to see. And his mind was tracing just such a path right now…
But this time, he didn’t reach the end of the trail. This time his thoughts were disrupted by the soft thwump of paws outside his den, and with a twitch of whiskers and flick of ear he was forced to turn his attention elsewhere. Those steps were too close and too distinct to belong to a mere passer-by, and he didn’t need telling to know who was coming his way. It had been only a pawfull of days since he had named Crowfall his deputy, but already it was so very easy to identify the tom in his approach – and not just because so few cats dared stray near his den.
The Bird was about as neurotic as they came, and that suited the leader just fine.
‘E-excuse me…Ashstar? Do you have a moment for an inquiry?’
The ashen tom’s whiskers twitched again, and derisive amusement washed openly across his face. He didn’t think he could have picked a more helpless deputy if he’d tried, and idly he wandered what it was this time; what the little cat would do if he answered no. He’d probably be transfixed: stand there until Ashstar deigned to give him time. Perhaps he should try it, sometime. It would be fun to see what he did.
But not today. Though Ashstar knew his own thoughts were more important than the Bird, he also knew that the shock of the deputy-change was still fresh in minds of his clan – and that meant that in some things, at least, he ought to take a little care. It would do him no real good if he was seen to ignore his new deputy for no clear reason, so with a twitch of his tail he smoothed his features and rose to his paws, filing that little idea for another day. By the time he loomed from his den the amusement and derision had been wiped away, leaving him to look upon Crowfall with a smooth, impassive gaze.
“Well?”
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kiwi
Apprentice
Probably drawing!
Posts: 60
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Post by kiwi on Mar 23, 2020 0:24:18 GMT
His leader certainly took his time getting there, though Crowfall paid no offense to it one bit. He was sure Ashstar was very, very busy and had a lot of things on his mind! Many, many things that were far more important than this inquiry, for sure. After all, it was just lunch, not some life or death scenario. Well, it still was to him. But. Oh, there he was, getting into a mental spiral again, his tailtip twitching nervously and his ears flicking hither and thither to catch any stray sound flying by. When Ashstar finally arose, Crowfall all but jumped to attention.
'Well?'
The casual, impassive remark definitely dug into his fur. Oh dear. Crowfall did his best to keep a brave face, but... he was ultimately quite neurotic.
"A-ah, hello Ashstar I was... needing to ask your permission for something." He responded, nervously shuffling his paws as he looked at his leader. His gaze never left him, in fact, even though his ears swiveled to listen to the sounds of any paws in the camp nearby; any voices in the distance. "I understand that you are likely very busy, so hopefully this inquiry won't take a moment of your time." As he stumbled over his words, in the process of going through his anxiety he failed to mention what this inquiry ultimately was, however.
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Post by Greymuzzles on Mar 28, 2020 21:39:49 GMT
Even before he was fully free from his den, it was plain to Ashstar that his deputy was on edge about something; that he wasn’t at all gifted with the quiet calm one might expect of a cat in so important a role. Indeed, had Crowfall been any other his demeanour may have put the ashen leader on alert, telling him that something dire had come their way. But Crowfall was not any other. Crowfall was proving as timid as a mouse, and already Ashstar looked upon his twitching as the norm: a nice reminder that this choice was unlikely to cause him trouble, and a source of entertainment all in one. This little cat would probably jump from his own pelt if someone happened to make too loud a noise too near, but Ashstar had to admit that he knew his place. That he knew how to serve.
A pity about the incessant questions.
Still, they at least provided a regular source of amusement—not to mention confirmation that he wouldn’t attempt to outstep his bounds—and so Ashstar was willing to be reasonably patient. That was no hardship, in any case. All he truly needed to do was sit before his own den, watching as his counterpart shifted and talked.
Even that seemed the cause Crowfall trouble. The Bird had said he had something ask, and yet here he was tripping over his own words; babbling as might a kit if pushed abruptly before mightier paws. His chosen phrases didn’t even carry a hint of what he had come to ask, and Ashstar’s eyes glittered with open scathing amusement as he realised that very fact. So pitiful, that he could fail at something so simple. Ashstar suspected he didn’t even recognise his own mistake, at that.
“You have already taken more than a moment of my time.” On the face of it his tone was as measured as always, but here, with no one but Crowfall close enough to make out the fullness of his voice, its undercurrents held a distinctive bite. ‘You are making a fool of yourself’, it whispered. ‘I might become…disappointed.’
“Perhaps you should learn to be a little more concise.” He curled his tail across his paws as he spoke; sat straight and proud, eyes never leaving the bird’s scrawny form.
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kiwi
Apprentice
Probably drawing!
Posts: 60
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Post by kiwi on Apr 25, 2021 8:50:09 GMT
Ashstar's quiet and the gaze in which he stared down at Crowfall could have eaten him from the inside out. For the moment, he felt like he truly was crowfood, and the anxiety gnawing at him was the very same consuming rot.
He felt just as worthless, too, as he heard what Ashstar had to say to him.
'You have already taken more than a moment of my time.'
A feeling that was not unlike dread crept up on him, getting caught in his throat, and only being washed down with a harsh swallow that was chased by humiliation. He could hear the tone in Ashstar's voice - the threat of disappointment on the intimidating tom was almost too much for Crowfall to bear. Crowfall's already naturally submissive pose just sank as his head lowered further, his bony shoulders jutting out of his naturally thin frame even more visibly.
He waited for a moment after Ashstar was done speaking; mostly waiting to see if his leader had anything else to say. If Crowfall were to interrupt Ashstar unintentionally, he would surely wish StarClan strike him dead on the spot. Only when he was nearly 100% certain that Ashstar wasn't going to speak, did he open his mouth to speak; and opening his mouth was an exaggeration, as he kept himself as quiet and unassuming as possible.
"My apologies, Ashstar." He all but croaked, his voice nearly getting caught in his chest. "I do not mean to cause a disturbance; as I know you are a very busy cat; and far, far more important than, well, myself..." And he was back to babbling. But, Ashstar wanted him to be concise, so perhaps he should be straight to the point.
"That is to say! I am not ungrateful that you put me in this position; I know that this position is of utmost importance...serving you is of course my number one priority, however! Because you are far more important than me, I..that's what I'm saying!"
His poor, twitching tailtip, was giving away just how close he was to having a breakdown.
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Post by Greymuzzles on Apr 26, 2021 19:51:01 GMT
How easy it was to twist this little tom into fretting knots: to freeze him like panic-stricken prey. Ashstar was barely even trying, the look far from his worst, and yet his deputy practically collapsed in on himself even before he’d spoken the first word. It was pathetic, really, and disgust fought briefly for his gaze as he stared upon the now hunched form. Fortunately he was equal to it—well practiced at hiding those unsavoury emotions—and the disgust manifested mainly as false disappointment; a sharper glimmer of scorn.
Anyone would have thought he’d just clawed Crowfall’s ears, for the way he was responding. The deputy’s posture and fearful silence were pathetic even for a Bird, and for a moment he was tempted to dismiss him outright: to strip another deputy of the title they bore. But the clan could not handle such a thing so soon, he knew, and in truth it was better this cowering hairball than one like the cat who had come before. At least this Bird had the decency to show his inner cowardice to the world, rather than hiding it until it cost the clan another fine, strong Boar.
…And at least his predecessor had known how to get to the point.
Ashstar held the Bird in a long, cool stare as he began to babble, and the leader’s eyes were openly judging; utterly unimpressed. Distantly he noted that this rambling could not have anything to do with whatever had brought the cat to him—surely even a Bird wouldn’t rouse him to remind him of his importance—and for a moment he was almost perplexed. But then the moment passed, herded away by a new bubble of amusement as he realised that panic had his so-called-deputy in its hold.
“Quite,” he stated simply, nonchalantly, accepting his own superiority with that one easy word. There was no questioning which of them was greater—that had been settled before this cat had even been born—but he did wonder at how easily the other tom’s panic might be stoked: how great might be the reward. He had picked Crowfall out of a certainty that he would trail meekly in the shadow of his paws, satisfying the clan’s traditions even as he proved the weekness of his branch, but now he wondered if the little cat might offer something more. Now he wondered if there might be a new game to be had: a game that his position had denied him through all the long moons that had gone before.
‘Let us see,’ he thought, ‘what fun can be had.’
“Am I to assume you are looking for a new task?” He enquired, careful to keep his tone suitably balanced: to be a leader making his best guess at his deputy’s intentions, and nothing more. Only the barest quiver of his tail tip betrayed his enthusiasm for the potential he now saw. “If so, you needn’t look too far – Birchclaw’s den needs patching, and many of the warrior dens seem ragged too. They need attention, and I’m sure a keen eye will spot others that also need it.”
He paused, offering a falsely light purr; pretending he had faith in this hairball, even if his manner had warned of disappointment only moments before. “Of course, a good Deputy would have already noted that, would he not? And you are an acceptable Deputy…aren’t you?”
A thorn dropped quietly within the nest, ready to provide entertainment to one and all.
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kiwi
Apprentice
Probably drawing!
Posts: 60
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Post by kiwi on Apr 26, 2021 21:14:21 GMT
Crowfall felt his heart sink in his chest as Ashstar started listing off things that still needed to be done. The hunger in his belly was already turning to nausea, but he had still wanted to have a snack, and Frostleap was waiting. Unfortunately, she'd likely have to wait longer. Ashstar's words stung on his pelt; but they did have some merit to Crowfall's worrying. Was he a good deputy? Acceptable, even? That he didn't know, but surely he didn't want to disappoint Ashstar.
"I-I am!" Crowfall piped up quickly, more wanting to reassure Ashstar than himself. "Yes, I am an acceptable deputy I assure you, sir, I --" He wheezed out an anxious noise and looked up at him, a glint of misery flashing in his eyes.
"I was just going to get right on that - - a-after I was to have my mid-day meal with my sister...." He added, unsure if he should really even ask for it now. But he was too late to stop, after all. "Which is what I came here .... to ask..." He added, his voice small, trying to make the request as miniscule as possible. Almost as if he felt he didn't deserve to ask it.
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Post by Greymuzzles on May 10, 2021 19:57:13 GMT
Ooc: This is a little disjointed (sorry!) but hopefully you can work with it.
Bic: He wasn’t, Ashstar knew – at least not in the classic sense. As a deputy Crowfall was pathetic even for a Bird, having so little will that he would probably ask even before removing fleas from his own fur, and the leader was well aware of that fact. There were any number of cats who would have made a far better choice, but the problem was that those fine picks were all Boars - and the clan would not yet accept a Boar deputy following at a Boar leader’s paws. They needed to be comforted by their traditions, for the time being, and that meant he was stuck with this Bird…but at least Crowfall knew his place; could even be entertaining. In the circumstances he couldn’t ask much more.
At least, not when it came to personality. Duties, though – now that was a different thing. If he had to have a Bird for a deputy, then he’d make sure that Deputy worked.
“I’m sure you’ll make every effort to show how acceptable you are,” the ashen tom purred, a glint in his eye as he watched his counterpart: measured the impact of his words. He could see the doubt in the tom’s posture as plainly as he could hear it in the answer, and it amused him to know how easily the thorn of his statement had found its mark. It amused him too to see how poorly the Bird lied, and though in other circumstances he might have clawed his ears for the untruth, that amusement ensured that for now he only smiled. He would be able to see right through this one, and he knew that for the advantage it was.
‘A-after I was to have my mid-day meal with my sister.’
“Midday?” Ashstar let the smile fall away as quickly as it had come, allowing a trace of sternness to rise. He didn’t miss that this, at last, was what the cat had come to ask—a further confirmation of his lack of will—but he refrained from commenting on that fact: instead shifted to his paws, allowing them to take him on a short circuit of Crowfall’s hunched form. His gaze lingered on the tom as if to inspect him, then locked on his eyes as he stood in front of him once more.
“I do hope you aren’t eating too much. It would set a bad example.”
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